Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Without Facebook

I quit Facebook the other day, and I'm not going to put the blame anywhere but on myself. I see all kinds of stuff out there about how Facebook is bad for you, how it's bad for relationships, how it's evil, etc.

I was starting to think of things in real life as "like" and "dislike". Not healthy.

Maybe. I'm not going to get into that, because I'm not everyone. I'm just me, so I'll just say what Facebook was doing to me.

It was turning me into a monster. I'm not blaming Facebook for this. I'm just saying that SNS doesn't mesh well with my personality or my character shortcomings. Facebook was bad for me, and it was making me a bad person, worse every day.

Actually I find it rather ironic that I used FB as a platform for shouting my love from the rooftops.

I liked to use Facebook to stay in contact with real peeps I know in real life, support and share with my fellow authors, and to reach out to my (very few) fans. And those are all great things! I also loved posting about love -- just little tidbits, little bites of pure gold, of my love life with my wonderful, beautiful wife. But all this was outweighed by what Facebook was doing to me.

Somewhere along the way, I realized that I no longer saw people as people. All I saw were avatars and handles, random picks in the News Feed which Facebook deemed worthy to show me. I'd like something and move on, never really taking the time to connect. I just had too many people on my friends' list.

But it was worse than that. I would argue with people and be more unkind to them than I'd ever be if I sat down face to face and talked to them in real life. I became something I refuse to be: uncharitable. It was easy, because, after all, Facebook users aren't real people, anymore than forum members.

That kind of thinking had to go!

That was my pitfall, and, again, the blame is all on me. I should be able to conduct myself online with the same dignity I live my life. But I can't. SNS dehumanizes (not to mean it degrades, but rather it takes the human user behind the computer on the other end out of the equation). I wasn't interacting with people but rather a collection of photo updates about the cool burrito shop down the street or invites to the latest book-signing event. My head was a whirl.

I also felt like I could never say what I really think about hot-button topics, and the few times I did, I got into nasty arguments. This would've never happened in real life. And so I've quit, for my own good.

I refuse to play that game; I refuse to be weak. And I refuse to stand on pride. I know my weaknesses and my faults, and I'll be the first to admit them.

Besides, Facebook was quickly becoming an addiction. It was time to kick the habit!

It's just the way I am: when I'm into something, I'm all in.

Stick around here, though, and you'll see more from us! We're not gone, just off Facebook. Thanks for all your support, friends and family! We love you all!


  1. *waves to the fabulous Adonii*

    I will just have to stalk you on here then :-)

    Facebook can be a bit of a mindf***, as well as time suck. Will miss you on there.

    1. Hey, keep in touch, Doris! If you need any pimping, email us. We got your back anytime.

  2. I agree, Adonis, and am fast coming to many of the same conclusions. I'm tired of Facebook and much of what goes on there. I don't think social networks are doing much good for anybody, to be honest.

    1. Yeah, Cat. Mostly I see pettiness or ego-stroking on Facebook. It was hard to cancel, but I had my wife help me get over that hurdle.

  3. I've backed away from Facebook for many of the same reasons and a few more. Too many stalkers and far too many Mutual Appreciation Societies. I was on vacation for a few weeks and realized how much I did not miss it. I use Twitter to post publishing updates and keep my personal life personal. That's enough. I'll be following your blog now.

    1. Thanks, Livia! Yep, on reflection, the whole mutual-admiration society was really getting to me, too.


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